Lost and Found

The title of this entry really encompasses so many things, but after the day I've had, I can find good and bad in both terms.  As of late, I've made a conscious effort to try to find the good in all things, situations and people because it really does put life into perspective.  It helps me set aside the petty things that would normally irritate me, and allows me to open my heart and mind to other things. In all of our lives, we all have things we've lost and we've all had things we've found.  My day today has brought a great deal to the surface.
Here are some things that I've lost, both good and bad.
This morning, thanks to a state trooper, and my 10 mile an hour over the speeding limit, going with the flow of traffic foot,  I've lost $150 from my wallet due to a speeding ticket by 7:15 a.m. Thanks buddy. Later on this morning, I was asked to join a meeting with my boss and the superintendent who presented me with a RIF (reduction in force) notice.  For anyone who doesn't understand that, think pink slip.  A sign of the times. So as of June 1st, I'm out of a job unless the board makes some cuts elsewhere. So two losses that make me very happy to say goodbye to April 20th.
Now, onto a good loss.  I don't share this unless I'm asked, but today I'm just putting this out there because on the spectrum of losses, I'll take this one for sure.  I've been overweight most of my mid-20's and throughout this last year and a half.  15 months ago, I began a focused effort on loosing not only the "baby" weight, but also those extra pounds that showed up on my backside.  To date I've lost 94 pounds.  Yep, 94.  Hot damn. I set three goals for myself and I'm within 12 pounds of the first goal. Definitely the hardest thing I've ever done.  Getting divorced was easier.  Really, it was.
Let's move to finding things.  What have I found as of late?  A new relationship with God.  When I've prayed for answers and prayed for comfort, he provides.  I joined St. Peter's and Paul's parish this year which has been immensely rewarding.  My brother teaches the RCIA classes one must take to go through this process.  So not only do I have a deeper understanding of what living life as a Christian really means, but I also grew closer in my relationship with my brother going through this process.  I thank God everyday for the blessings I've been given with this new opportunity.
One final find for now.... loosing my jobs means a lot of things and I'm a true believer in everything happening for a reason.  I know I'll land on my feet.  I am finding that having new found "time" at home with my children will be an opportunity that brings about great blessings. I've always wanted to have an opportunity to be a stay at home mom...this just might be my opportunity, so again.....I've been blessed. My oldest son attends the school I currently teach at and I've had him on my team.  I asked the Lord to give me a year with him at middle school and then whatever happens after that, I would openly accept.  The Lord gave me this past year with my Matthew and for that I will be forever grateful.  What a special time for us.  I will miss being with him every day at school, but maybe it's time for me to be with his younger siblings during the day. He's off to a wonderful start and I work with some amazing people that I KNOW will take care of my son.
So in this life box of lost and found, I have found many things to be grateful for and to that I say thank you to the good Lord.

Peace and pickles,
R  

Indiana Stinks

I am thrilled to say we not only made it home alive from our trip to Florida, but we brought home some great memories.  My parents purchased plane tickets for all of us, including my siblings and their families to travel to Florida to spend time together and visit with my grandfather who broke his hip a few weeks ago.  Grandpa has a wonderful friend, Carol, who graciously offered her home to us since all of us together are an army and we couldn't all fit in grandpa's house for the week.  We flew out late Wednesday night after a long day at work and with the misconception that maybe, just maybe, the kids would sleep on the plane. I'm basically referring to Kate, but was also hoping for Drew.  Speaking of Drew, the poor guy's ear drum ruptured for the second time in a month right before we left, so being the stellar mom that I am, I asked the Dr. if drugging him for the plane ride was o.k.  He gave me the thumbs up and a few suggestions about what to give him to help him forget that his ear had imploded. I love our Dr. So after stripping down and lining up like prisoners to go through security at the airport, which is something I could write a whole other entry about, we made it through security and to our gate in time.  Again, impressive. The flight attendants were angels and we got off to a decent start.  The last 40 minutes though, we were THOSE people.  The people with the screaming kid. Kate lost her marbles. She screamed at the top of her lungs for the last 35 minutes of the flight, and 15 min into it I desperately had Chad take her to the bathroom and lock the door. I felt horrible for those that sat close to us and she was just exhausted and fighting sleep.  Low and behold though, 5 minutes before landing, she fell asleep in the bathroom with her dad holding her. Nice. 

We drove several hours and finally made it to grandpa's at 3 in the morning. What a long day.  I realized as we arrived at grandpa's that I had not been to that house since I made a last minute, 24 hour trip to visit grandma right before she passed away.  That was over 5 years ago. As tired as I was, I woke up quickly as I saw the different parts of the house again and also saw the chair grandma sat in when I told her goodbye for the last time.  I was in the throws of student teaching in January of 2005 when grandma's health began to decline. She had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. She lived with it so gracefully for so many years.  We knew it wouldn't be long, she had fought cancer so bravely and had gone into remission several times over a decade.  The last time the cancer returned though it went to her pancreas and there would be no remission this time. She never complained.  We knew she was in pain, but she never acted as though she was and always smiled. I was overwhelmed with a sadness that I kept to myself, because everyone else was sleeping and so very tired.  I took an early morning Saturday flight to Florida to see her that weekend in January. I stayed overnight and flew back Sunday because I had to student teach Monday.   I was pregnant with Drew at the time and had no idea I was.  I often wonder if Grandma knew even though she was in heaven.  I hope she did. I remembered so vividly kneeling in front of her as she sat in her chair and telling her I had to go back home, but that I was proud of her and loved her so much. I told her that we didn't need to say goodbye, but see you later. I told her I was so very sorry I couldn't stay longer, but as always, she said that the kids needed me at school and I had a job to do.  She told me not to be sad, that she would be o.k. All of this with tears flowing down our faces knowing we wouldn't see each other again for awhile. She was gone not long after I left.  These memories were so vivid as I returned to their house in Florida. I was mad at myself for waiting so long to return. It was time to make new memories there.  

Grandpa was still not home, he had an infection from the surgery and they had to keep him.  He was not cooperative either.  He kept calling Carol and telling her that they weren't giving him his meds, OT was too painful, etc.  My dad had to have a rather stern talk with him about his behavior and about cooperating. Basically it was, do what you're told, quit being difficult and you can come home.  We went to see him several times and we celebrated his birthday before we left.  I knew how much he hated being there and wanted to come home. We spent several gorgeous days at the beach.  I laughed with my sisters as we discussed the life of a beach bum and how we would gladly assume that role.  Our kids played in the sand and ocean all day.  Matt was great at body surfing and using the boogie board.  My nephews LOVED the beach and Kate took up eating sand. Yep, eating it. I just knew I'd be finding sand in her diaper for weeks to come. We also found sand in places we didn't know sand could be found.  I'll take it though, it meant good times at the beach with family. 

We had a great time. The last couple of days, Chad and I left to take the kids to Disney.  It was hard to leave the rest of the family. I felt torn, but I also knew this was the last time that all three of my kids would enjoy Disney, like kids enjoy Disney.  Matthew will be 13 this summer, his days of standing in line willingly to see characters are coming to an end quickly. Drew loves it so much right now, but I know that his excitement won't be like that forever and Kate was just old enough to enjoy it.  So for that reason, I felt it was important for us to do Disney for a couple of days together. And boy did we. Several bloody blisters, puffy eyes and sunburns later....we've got tons of great memories and hundreds of pictures to bring back home. Matt and I rode Space Mountain several times together and he gladly introduced me to Aerosmith's Rockin' Roller Coaster which makes me so proud since I'm a huge Aero fan. He and I like a lot of the same things.  He also still hugs me and pokes me around other people as we wait in line which I love. I know that probably won't last much longer. Drew was great about waiting in long lines to meet his favorite Disney characters and to ride great rides.  He LOVED posing for pictures. The kid is a ham for sure. He has the best personality. We had a special meeting with his bestie while there, they happened to be close so Drew and Chaser met up in Magic Kingdom. It was special for sure. How great that friends can experience that together!  And my spitfire Katie taught us patience, in the speedy form. We got creative about what to do while waiting in lines with her.  We have it down so well now, now that we've left. It was great seeing her take in Mickey for the first time, she loved him.  And all the boys were great about waiting in line to see a princess.  Of course it was just as much for me as it was for Kate, but they were truly great sports. 

Speaking of having it down, we had a plan for getting through security more efficiently on the way home and prayed for a quiet flight.  The good Lord listened.  Kate slept the whole way home.  Thank you Jesus.  

We are already talking about next year and how we so appreciate my parents for giving us such a great gift of time with family in a warm, sunny, beautiful place. Which leads me to the title of this blog entry....I know that I would not appreciate it if I lived there all the time, but, being back in this gloomy, cold, rainy weather stinks.  Therefore I conclude that : Indiana stinks.  

We are so blessed to have had this past week together, I am so, so grateful. 

Thanks mom and dad. Love you.